[用「我 I」這個思考架構來分析完美主義]
完美主義的「苟日新,日日新,又日新」,
的確有點好像鑽牛角尖,因為對瑕疵視若無睹,
不但會令人停滯不前,也可能無法應付自然界的挑戰。
追求完美和去蕪存菁,一向是科學及文明的動力,
然而這種動力既可善,亦可為惡,完全視乎一心。
前文所說完美主義者的兩大門派,
分別製造出人類社會中兩類不同的「精英」elites,
一類精英讓「我 ego」主持人生大局,
他們重視「成功」success,追逐名利權,
只要對他們有利,他們絕對不會介意定義曖昧的詞彙。
其中部份人討厭直接的「肢體暴力」,
但卻擁護「制度暴力」做成的結構性社會不公,
非常喜歡享受特權,喜歡「特事特辦」,
但亦有既擁護「制度暴力」又擁護「肢體暴力」,
更加擁護毀滅優秀文化的暴力。
…today I believe that I am acting
in accordance with the will of the
Almighty Creator.
( Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, Vol.1, Ch.2 )
If you succeeded in cheating a friend,
don’t think that he is a fool.
Realize that he trusted you more than
you deserved. If you are a politician and
you succeeded in cheating your citizens,
it is because your education is shit
and consequently your citizens are fools.
( Jason Ling )
另一類精英讓「心靈 soul」主持人生大局,
他們重視「成就」achievement,重視分享,
追逐抽象的真理,智慧和普遍的宗教精神──
真、誠、愛、智慧。
他們重視認識自己,重視內省和自我批判,
非常重視思考和運用清晰的詞彙來表達思考,
而且不會讓情緒來主宰理性。
任何接受過嚴謹思考訓練的人都明白,
理論不同假說,理論必須符合事實,沒有妥協之餘地。
俗語說,我們判斷人的時候,必須「聽其言,觀其行」,
Talk is cheap. If his action/behavior
doesn’t reflect his words,
then he didn’t really mean it.
測試任何理論,其實也是應用同一道理!
所以追求真理和智慧的人,一定是徹底的完美主義者。
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
( Socrates )
簡而言之,
任何人要求達到崇高的理想或者狼子的野心,
其實都是「完美主義者」。
無論是善和惡,正和邪,只要是精英,
就都是「完美主義者」。
精英,可以拒絕批判嗎?精英,可以擁抱虛偽嗎?
那些狼子野心,晝夜度橋的精英就可以!
他們可以左手擁抱神,右腳和魔鬼跳舞,
可以滿口仁義道德,背後卻和黑社會眉來眼去,
神又係佢,鬼又係佢,兩面都有 connection!
需要匡智的社會,當然不會釐清精英的定義,
所以一個社會如何定義精英,一向是重大的課題。
至於那些沒有天賦才華,或者沒有企圖登峰造極的人,
就淪落為「庸才」commoners / humdrum people,
他們不喜歡艱苦的思考,所以讓別人代替自己思考,
部份庸才喜歡宗教,喜歡上天堂,但傾向於將
「宗教精神」和「虛偽」置諸一爐而冶之,
寧願將精神放在「身體 body」的養生和享受之上。
養生和享受何嘗不是一種完美主義的傾向?
對這些沒有企圖登峰造極的人來說,
比較實際的意識形態就是這樣安慰自己:
Nobody is perfect.
I can only do my best.
If AI robots cannot accept that,
it’s their problem, not mine.
Don’t judge me until you know me.
Don’t underestimate me until you
challenge me. And don’t talk about me
until you’ve talked to me.
事實上,平庸者只有能力照顧自己,
只要他們不去欺騙或者陷害其他人,就已經十分理想。
不會剝削社會的精英,當然可以既重視「身體 body」,
又重視「心靈 soul」:
Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.
( Socrates )
I’m not sure what I’ll do, but ─ well,
I want to go places and see people.
I want my mind to grow. I want to live
where things happen on a big scale.
( F. Scott Fitzgerald )
[繼續釐清完美這個概念]
愚蠢的聰明人喜歡告訴那些思考能力不足的人:
striving for excellence 和 striving for perfection
是兩個完全不同的概念!
那麼兩個概念究竟不同在甚麼地方?
是因為方向不同嗎?是因為比較標準不同嗎?
是因為明白愚蠢的聰明人具備「不到黃河心不死」的心態嗎?
只有需要匡智的人,才會對追求完美產生恐懼。
And don’t ever be afraid of high expectations.
A great heritage is like something
we can’t escape, even if we want to.
It’s like a foundation under our feet,
we didn’t put it there,
but we’re standing on it anyway.
And either we build on the foundation,
or it will crumble away underneath us.
( Hank Aaron, 1995 )
Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.
( Salvador Dali )
Everything excellent is as difficult as it is rare.
( Baruch Spinoza, Ethics )
Learn to say ‘no’ to the good
so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.
( John C. Maxwell )
Demanding perfection may be inhuman,
but setting up higher and higher standards
for youtself and then striving for perfection
is not only human but also the cornerstone
of all human achievements.
What we do well, we want to do it better.
If the pursuit of perfection is not
an ingredient of compassion, then
what is compassion and what is excellence?
There is nothing wrong to insist on perfection
though we must realize that it is foolish
to expect perfect outcomes.
Perfection is an attitude, not a requirement;
it is a journey, not a destination.
We don’t need to be better than others.
We only need to be better than we used to be,
using others as a reference only.
( Jason Ling )
I constantly experience failure in that
my work is never as good as I want it to be.
So I live with failure.
( Jeremy Irons )
I hold that a writer who does not passionately
believe in the perfectibility of man
has no dedication nor any membership in literature.
( John Steinbeck )
在愛智的路途上,
擁抱「既知足,又不知足」這個困難的弔詭──
就是「既滿意自己鍥而不捨的精神,在物質方面容易知足,
能夠完全放下名利權的慾望,但又不滿意現在擁有的智慧,
在思考和追求智慧方面完全永不知足」──這就是周易所說
的「天行健,君子以自強不息;地勢坤,君子以厚德載物」,
儒家所說的「苟日新,日日新,又日新」,
及佛家所說的「勇猛精進」!
可惜的是,喚醒群眾接受這個道理並不容易。
萬事起頭難,聽得明白這個道理需要起碼的智慧,
也許更需要一點緣份,甚至一點運氣,
而能夠當下明白這個道理,本身就是一種智慧。
You have to have a talent for having talent.
( Ruth Gordon )
在愛智的路途上,我們遲早會明白
1. 愛和智慧必須手牽手,
因為愛必須有相應的智慧配合。
2. 大愛必須有大智慧配合,
否則大愛如何去愛一位決志及已經做了壞事的人?
如何能夠代表所有受害者原諒及包容壞人?
3. 一切狹隘的愛和小愛,都容易做成傷害,
出現「愛你變成害你」的結果。
4. 任何混雜了虛偽的愛,一定是假愛,會做成極大傷害。
5. 所謂「厚德載物」的厚德,必然是從改革制度著手。
追求智慧,困難嗎?
努力不懈、堅持追求智慧,智慧就會現身;
不是由於智慧變得容易了,而是因為在追求的過程之中,
我們追求智慧的能力增添了。
The human mind is much more elastic
than you can imagine.
If you practice, you think better.
If you think better,
you get along with better thinkers.
If you get along with better thinkers,
you think better thoughts.
If you think better thoughts,
you have more fun.
If you have more fun, you practice more.
If you practice more, you think better…..
The most powerful drive in the ascent of man
is his pleasure in his own skill.
He loves to do what he does well and,
having done it well, he loves to do it better.
( Jacob Bronowski )
Certainly all historical experience confirms
the truth──that man would not have attained
the possible unless time and again he had
reached out for the impossible.
( Max Weber )
回歸心靈,追求智慧的人,不會介意結果或者結局不完美,
因為有時一些小瑕疵往往反而是完美的一部份。
他們的座右銘就是:
1. 努力認識世界,認識自己,認識世界和自己的關係。
2. 保守自己的心,對真理謙卑,毋忘經得批判的初衷。
3. 未雨綢繆,盡人事,聽天命,因為靈界的計劃我們不清楚。
4. 擁抱懷疑和批判,有機會就說出目前認知的真理,
期望有人會指出其中漏洞,可以立即作出修訂。
5. 多元化是好事,人必須去學習接納、欣賞和感激思考上的差異,
然而亦必須同時擁抱懷疑和批判的精神。
由於世界上有偽君子和半君子,
所以只有回歸心靈,追求智慧的人,
當他們說出下面這句說話時,才可以肯定一定是真心話:
My life isn’t perfert but I am thankful
for everything I have and
everything that happens to me.
Therefore you shall be perfect
just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
(Matthew 5:48)
完美主義者的「自我認同」identity:
1. 以趨向完美為人生的目標。
2. 知道今天的我較昨天的我進步。
絕對不會倚賴相貌、身材、衣著、行頭、銜頭…來包裝。
3. 努力建設信仰,對所有信念都抱著懷疑的精神。
4. 慎選導師,慎選可以溝通的朋友。
5. 除了最基本的虛偽,
例如在腦細面前自認愚昧,讓腦細的決策自取其辱,
或者在有暴力傾向的愚蠢人面前保持必要的沉默之外,
拒絕所有不必要的虛偽。
6. 除了白色的謊言 white lies 之外,拒絕說謊。
7. 將真理置諸面子和輩份之上。