☆ 不去論斷別人的第二種好處
即使聖經對「不要論斷人」有高深的詮釋,
但不少基督徒依然喜歡照自己的意思和經驗去解釋,
其中當然有他們的道理,而且涉及一個重大的弔詭!
首先,教會內有不少追求真理,但心靈軟弱平庸的人,
為了重視和諧氣氛,重視鼓勵,重視平庸的人性,
希望能夠達到白社會,甚至黑社會都尊重的「以和為貴」境界,
所以他們傾向於貶斥「論斷」和「批判」。
且聽有豐富說服人經驗的基督教傳道人 Joyce Meyer 如何說:
Give criticism sparingly,
People don’t respond well to criticism,
but they are motivated by and love encouragement.
( Joyce Meyer )
不少品性良善的教徒明白,
「愛」love 和「仁慈」kindness 是向對方輸出正能量,
是聖靈所結的果子,也是心靈中最重要的東西之一。
Kindness is a language
deaf can hear and blind can see.
( Mark Twain )
有一條不容易答的「選擇題」Multiple-Choice Question 是這樣的:
No matter what kind of mistakes and
no matter what kind of learning, more people
would actually learn from their mistakes if
1. we were being kind to them.
2. we refused to teach them and saved their faces
since teaching was often regarded as criticizing.
3. they were allowed to make the same mistakes
again and again until they have learned.
4. they can let go of the past.
5. they weren’t constantly trying to deny their mistakes.
品性良善的教徒相信:
1. 對別人仁慈,就是接納他們的人。
2. 接納他人和接納他人的思想是同一回事。
3. 避開批判,多加鼓勵,就可以令中下等人樂觀和積極。
4. 放棄批判精神,隱惡揚善,就是仁慈。
5. 能夠接納中下等人的思想,就是「有容乃大」。
6. 市民只有在思想上都和諧,才可以締造一個和諧的社會。
Speak without offending 就是 practice kindness!
靜靜地告訴你,法利賽人說耶穌好惡,絕對不仁慈:
Jesus is very unkind!
道貌岸然的人甚至會教我們這樣對待希特勒:
Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it,
not as a reflection of their character,
but as a reflection of yours.
( Dave Willis )
大部份品性良善的教徒都未曾深思過
1. 批判精神到底是向對方輸出正能量還是輸出負能量?
2. 如何判斷對方喜愛真理的程度?
3. 是否應該利用對方喜愛迷信的傾向?
4. 我們可以接受對方甚麼程度的愚昧?
不少品性良善的教徒甚至直截了當地「相信」和「肯定」
鍥而不捨的批判精神一定是輸出負能量,
因為愚昧而又愛面子的人佔了大多數。
教會必須照顧羊群的面子!
於是他們自動自覺地製造了這兩個吊詭:
要「仁慈」就不要「批判」,要「批判」就失去了「仁慈」,
「論斷」或者「批判」一個人的思想,就等同「論斷」這個人!
於是接納一個人和接納他的腦袋,在他們的眼中變成了同一回事!
Sobriety is precious because wooly-headed people
usually do not understand the nature of truth.
They will tell you to keep speaking the truth,
but speak with kindness, speak without criticism.
Actually what they are saying is that
they don’t like truth because truth is unkind,
truth doesn’t love human beings.
( Jason Ling )
Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few.
( Bishop Berkeley, Siris, 1744 )
一艘太空穿梭機發射之前,必須經過自然界中種種規律的挑戰,
才有希望發射成功,太空穿梭機並不需要我們的鼓勵和讚許,
太空穿梭機完全沒有面子的問題。
人心肉做,用面子包著,怎可以和機器比較!
機器必須面對真理,人卻可以扭曲真理,
機器不需要考慮道德的問題,但人卻需要考慮道德的問題,
而不論甚麼情況之下,照顧別人的面子就是道德!
這就是人比機器更加優勝的地方。
We cry to Truth,
” making someone smaller doesn’t make you bigger!”
Truth remains silent.
Who cares about being smaller or bigger?
There is no god higher than truth.
( Mahatma Gandhi )
人與人之間有了愛,部份矛盾就會消失,毋庸置疑,
但如果這個世界有不需要智慧的愛,是否所有矛盾都會煙消雲散?
☆ 不去論斷別人的第三種好處
不去論斷別人的第三種好處,
就是維繫一個中立的形象,甚至成為多方拉攏的對象,
可惜的是,神絕對不會拉攏他,
拉攏他的是來自四方八面的魔鬼。
The hottest places in hell are reserved
for those who in time of great moral crisis
maintain their neutrality.
( Dante Alighieri )
Obedience is the great multiplier of evil.
( John Holt )
Do not be afraid of enemies ─
at worst they may kill you.
Do not be afraid of friends ─
at worst they may betray you.
Beware of the indifferent ─
they do not kill and they do not betray,
But it is only by their silent consent
that murder and treachery exist on Earth.
( Bruno Yasensky )
據說,每個人的心中都有一把尺,
這些呼籲我們不要去論斷別人的人,心中是否也有一把尺?
如果沒有的話,他們如何能夠作出判斷?
如果有的話,他們那把尺從何而來?
他們如何能夠肯定那把尺是否可靠?
沒有論斷和批判,如何選擇朋友和配偶?
沒有論斷和批判,如何擇善固執?
沒有論斷和批判,如何去蕪存菁?