☆ 事情屬於過去,經驗屬於現在和將來。
真理往往會有條件或者應用範疇,上述這句話亦不例外。
當錯誤沒有要了我們的性命,或者並非一失足的千古恨,
我們才會樂意說這是寶貴的經驗,並且和別人分享。
Only when the pain from a mistake is temporary
can we rest assured that it will pass.
When we come out alive and intact, we can then
say that the mistake comes to teach us a lesson.
( Jason Ling )
We all have a past that we cannot change.
What we can change is our perspective,
our interpretation, our experience of the past.
Life is about living in the present moment and
letting go the destructive feelings of the past.
Our ability to extract deeper and deeper experience
from the past can upgrade our present and
benefit all future situations that develop from it.
So, snap out of past feelings, extract good
experience from it, and start living your present.
Life is too beautiful to waste on the things
we cannot change.
( Jason Ling )
過去的事情當然不會改變,但我卻可以改變!
只要接受事實,只要明白「禍福相倚伏」,
過去的事情對我的衝擊和影響,絕對可以改變!
我的改變在於反思,在於學習,
反思和學習過去的事情所帶來的教訓,
所以勸導人「忘記過去」是不負責任的說法,
因為不汲取過去教訓的人,
或者不懂得如何汲取過去教訓的人,就會重蹈覆轍。
We learned our lessons in the past.
We apply the lessons learned in the present
and perhaps also in the future.
If today we leave our lessons behind,
we are bound to make umpteenth mistakes
and there is no guarantee for a better future.
( Jason Ling )
中國傳統智慧告訴我們「前車可鑑」及要「以古為鏡」,
「觀今宜鑒古,無古不成今。」《增廣賢文》
西方哲學家說要汲取歷史教訓。
Experience’s greatest lesson, it would seem, is that
the lessons of experience are too easily forgotten
── or, which comes to the same, too late learned.
( A. C. Grayling )
None are so eager to gain new experience as those
who don’t know how to make use of the old ones.
( Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach )
Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.
( George Santayana )
A failure is a man who has blundered,
but is not able to cash in the experience.
( Elbert Hubbard )
The past is a source of knowledge,
and the future is a source of hope.
Love of the past implies faith in the future.
( Stephen Ambrose )
不要為昨天的錯誤而萎靡不振,不要活在過去的陰影裡,
對!的確是真理!
但如何能夠不再犯同樣的錯誤,做好今天和明天?
所謂「汲取教訓」不僅僅是明白錯在那裡,而是「知錯能改」。
然而「知錯能改」談何容易?
很多人為了面子或者輩份,即使錯了也堅拒悔改,
並且竭力為自己的觀點和行為辯護;
他們的經歷可以借鏡,但他們的經驗會是甚麼?
沒有能力汲取教訓及不願意改過的人,錯完可以再錯,
明白錯在那裡之後仍然沒法改變自己的人,亦會重蹈覆轍,
現代英語稱這些人為「錯之常客」errorist 。
由於「知錯能改」並不容易,
所以《左傳》說:「知錯能改,善莫大焉!」
It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our
errors and mistakes and make amends for them.
To make a mistake is only an error in judgment,
but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows
infirmity of character.
( Dale Turner )
有得必有失,有失卻未必一定有得!
有利必有害,有害卻未必一定有利!
挫敗,表示我們的想法 [及其衍生出來的目標和計劃],
或者我們的執行方法 [包括用人不當] 有錯誤或缺失,
提醒了挫敗者需要繼續思考及改善後,從新再嘗試。
挫敗,讓聰明人有機會反思:
1. 自己是否墮入個人虛榮和自大所設下的陷阱;
2. 是否自私自利,結果無人願意合作;
3. 是否舊有的思維不能夠適應環境的急速改變;
4. 是否過度重視物質,忽略了精神和心靈的價值。
讓暫時的挫敗變成永久的挫敗的人,是下等人;
能夠不再重犯同樣錯誤的人,只是中等人;
能夠不再重犯同樣錯誤,又明白犯錯的「外在因素」的人,
只是中上等的人;
能夠不再重犯同樣錯誤,明白犯錯的「外在和內在因素」,
舉一反三,所以不會犯類似錯誤的人,才是上等的人。
Any man can make mistakes,
but only an idiot persists in his error.
( Marcus Tullius Cicero )
When you repeat a mistake, it is not
a mistake anymore: it is a decision.
( Paulo Coelho )
A mediocre man thinks he is clever by
not making the same mistake twice.
He knows he is making progress
when he starts making new foolish mistakes.
( Jason Ling )
和心靈成長有關的「過去」,尤其重要,
因為它們提供了寶貴的經驗,成為靈性生命的養份,
而且往往在年輕時從這些經驗汲取完養份之後,
由於人生閱歷及智慧的增添,
我們還可以從那些陳舊經驗之中,再度汲取更高一層次的養份!
只有能力從過去的經歷中汲取部份經驗的人,
亦會在其他情況之下犯上類似的錯誤。
只有不斷思考、重覆從過去的經歷中萃取經驗,
才是最正確的學習態度。
所以別太爽快地說「忘記背後,努力向前」這句話。
So be very cautious what the word ‘forgetting’ means
when you hear people say
“you cannot move forward without forgetting the past.”
All progress depends on lessons learned
and mistakes rectified and remembered.
( Jason Ling )
所謂「把握機會」,往往需要經驗、運氣和才能,缺一不可。
如果不肯思考,如果思考不夠謹慎,會得到怎麼樣的經驗?
如果不肯改過,會是怎麼樣的經驗?又何來良好的經驗?
然而「忘記背後,努力向前」當然有它的道理,
但這個道理是甚麼呢?
參考:《原諒》(三)